tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7881049654493997308.post6044908324119824962..comments2023-10-30T15:53:48.969-04:00Comments on Cara's Gender and Pop Culture Blawg: Constructs of Masculinity and Femininity in 30 RockUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7881049654493997308.post-5899142179198024742010-07-19T13:49:00.142-04:002010-07-19T13:49:00.142-04:00Cara,
I definitely feel like you did an excellent ...Cara,<br />I definitely feel like you did an excellent job. Your transitions from one paragraph to another was great. I really liked your introduction as it was very concise and conveyed your message without having to repeat the same points over.<br />you also stayed on topic very well and enjoyed reading.<br />Your first paragraph after your introduction, you presented a very clear view of Mark Donuhue point of view. You stated "The interaction both parodies the idea that “emotion” is a feminine characteristic and equates male homosexuality with femininity." which exactly what i believe mark was trying to say. You analysed a character or episode and backed it up with good quotes from the readings which i felt got your point across faster.<br /><br />One thing i wasn't so sure of was using multiple characters. I might be wrong but i believe the professor wanted us to analyse one character, not so sure. Withstanding i enjoyed reading and you did a good job!Oladunni Liyelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11568408191590447797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7881049654493997308.post-41186036706180099742010-07-19T13:26:21.250-04:002010-07-19T13:26:21.250-04:00See my previous comment, which ends in "conti...See my previous comment, which ends in "continued" first, before reading the second half, below:<br />(continued)<br />Once you have a narrow focus, your analysis would benefit from structuring the paragraphs with quote usage in a manner similar to the following example:<br />1. Intro Paragraph (with thesis at the last sentence)<br /><br />2. Point A (your first point/assertion that supports your thesis)<br /><br />3. Point A with quote from "expert witness" (author cited through the use of a direct quote to back up your point/assertion made in paragraph 2)<br /><br />4. Point B (your point/assertion that supports your thesis that can be directly linked with point A, so that your transition from point A to B is logical and adds depth to your analysis)<br /><br />5. Point B with quote from "expert witness" (author cited through the use of a direct quote to back up your point/assertion made in paragraph 4)<br /><br />....<br />.... repeat the steps above until your points have been made and you've adequately proven your thesis.<br /><br />#. Conclusion (after all points have been made)<br /><br />:0)<br />JessieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00882202558089495129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7881049654493997308.post-41262828356517971912010-07-19T13:23:03.175-04:002010-07-19T13:23:03.175-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00882202558089495129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7881049654493997308.post-29517262634561720782010-07-19T13:21:44.344-04:002010-07-19T13:21:44.344-04:00Cara-
You definitely made a good choice for the se...Cara-<br />You definitely made a good choice for the series & episode! Some areas that I noticed in your assignment need to be addressed in your upcoming assignments. When you write your intro, keep a couple of issues in mind:<br />-You need to know what you're introducing to your readers; therefore, it is helpful to write it last.<br />-Your thesis needs to be as clear and focused as possible; therefore, the thesis needs to specify what you're analyzing (i.e. the show episode through a specific character) and for what reason (i.e. to demonstrate that this character, in the chosen episode, conveys clear messages and meanings about what it means to be a man or a woman.<br />-Your readers need to know what show/character/etc you're analyzing by the end of your intro.<br />-Make your thesis as specific as possible and don't leave anything unclear or without the definition you plan to argue. <br />Here, the issue is the character-choice is missing from your thesis. Therefore, it's very easy to start picking examples (all from the same episode) that become a very vague representation of the points you want to use to analyze the gendered messages portrayed by the show. The narrower your focus in the thesis, the easier it will be for you to stay focused and produce a deeper analysis.<br />(continued)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00882202558089495129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7881049654493997308.post-3502363564711248482010-07-19T13:21:44.345-04:002010-07-19T13:21:44.345-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00882202558089495129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7881049654493997308.post-33736629110442281162010-07-19T13:17:18.046-04:002010-07-19T13:17:18.046-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00882202558089495129noreply@blogger.com